Halloween Humour

Halloween is nearly here, and even though this year Halloween celebration’s may feel different than normal due to the global pandemic, you can still get into the spirit of Halloween by sharing funny jokes with your family and friends!

Vampire Jokes

What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal?

A steak!

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?


How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?

All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts!!

What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?

A grave problem!

What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It’s a pain in the neck!

How do vampires get around on Halloween?

On blood vessels – of course!!

Why did the vampire read the newspaper?

He heard it had great circulation!

Witch Jokes

What do witches put on their bagels?

Scream cheese!!

What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging?

You never know which witch is which!

What’s a witch’s favourite makeup?


What do you call two witches who live together?


What was the witch’s favourite subject in school?


What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

What do you call a witch’s garage?

A broom closet!

Ghost & Goblin Jokes

What position does a ghost play in hockey?


What do ghosts eat for dinner?


How do you know when a ghost is sad?

He starts boo hooing!!

Where does a ghost go on vacation?


Why did the ghost starch his sheet?

He wanted everyone scared stiff

What’s a ghost’s favourite dessert?


Why do ghosts go on diets?

So they can keep their ghoulish figures!

Skeleton Jokes

What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?

“Bone Appetit!”

How do you make a skeleton laugh?

You tickle his funny bone!

What do skeletons order at a restaurant?

Spare ribs

What do you call a cleaning skeleton?

The grim sweeper!!

Know why skeletons are so calm?

Because nothing gets under their skin!

Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?

They have no body to love!

Mummy Jokes

What tops off a mummy’s ice cream sundae?

Whipped scream!

Why don’t mummies have friends?

Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves!

What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween?

Wrap music!!

Why did the headless horseman go into business?

He wanted to get ahead in life!

Why don’t mummies take time off?

They’re afraid to unwind!

Monster Jokes

Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with?

His ghoul friend!

What monster plays tricks on Halloween?


What’s a monster’s favorite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet!

Where does Dracula keep his money?

In a blood bank!

Why did the Cyclops give up teaching?

He only had one pupil!

Which Halloween monster is good at math?

Count Dracula!